Have You Seen My Motivation Anywhere?

This isn’t a real post just an update.  I still have not heard anything about the results of the exams and just like the first time it is really hurting my drive to do work for my classes.  I am literally motivated to do anything else.  I think I will step away from Facebook again and just try to find my motivation, wherever it is hiding.

Wish me luck!

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Fighting My Own Dragon-Keeping My Anxiety At Bay

If you have read my blog from the beginning then you already know my anxiety became a beast that I could no longer ignore.  As I was preparing for the final attempt at passing my comprehensive exams, literally the only thing between me and the graduate degree I have been pursuing, my anxiety became crippling.  So I turned to medical marijuana.  Yesterday was the big day for my exams.

In the final days leading up to these exams caffeine and cannabis were my dearest friends in the last push to prepare.  Lavender was my strain of choice to get through the week and that is why it is my latest strain review.

The night before my exam I chose to step away from the notes, have dinner with the family and then enjoy a one of my favorite strains, which I have not reviewed yet, Fortune Cookies.  Hubby and I sat by the fire pit in the back yard, smoked a bowl, and discussing the exams under the bright light of the moon.  It was relaxing and it helped.  Yesterday when I went in for my exams I was at peace.  I was determined to leave it all out on the field in a manner of speaking, and I refused to let it trigger my anxiety.  Besides, I would remind myself, I would get to smoke when I got home to either celebrate, unwind or both.

So the exams are behind me and I am waiting for the results.  Saying this isn’t stressful would be a total lie but I am more at peace than I was the first time around and I am glad I have medical marijuana for the times when my anxiety rears its monstrous head, because at least for a while I can keep it at bay.

Facebook…Melody Jane Has Her Own Page

Just for the sake of having a place to share other content and to meet with like minded people I have created a Facebook page for this blog.  If you would like to add me as a friend find me at https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100014112558175.

If you are seeing this because of the Facebook page then welcome, feel free to check out my other posts.  Even though most of them were brought over to this platform this month the posts actually cover the last three months of my experience as a medical marijuana patient in Nevada.

Lavender-Heavy Hitting Sweet Relief

5/5 Overall Relief

img_2735

Lavender

4/5 Productivity

5/5 Relaxation

3/5 Frisky

Lavender is a potent Indica which for me is a one hit wonder if I want to still be productive.  It has a floral smell and a slightly sweet taste that makes it a very enjoyable experience whether it is smoked in a peanut pipe, bubbler, or regular pipe.  I have smoked this strain a handful of times this week and one hit kept my anxiety at bay, allowed me to focus, and provided overall relaxation.  Like many strains a few hours after smoking I have been relaxed enough to fall asleep.  Unlike those other strains I don’t feel like I have been in a canna-coma, I just feel refreshed and have less difficulty waking up.  When I use the term canna-coma I just mean that strain puts me into a deep sleep that leaves me groggy when I wake up.  Two or three hits of this beauty have left me very mellow and a little giggly while being a little fuzzy around the edges.  I have an extremely low tolerance so a little goes a long way.  I didn’t feel extra frisky but as with any other strain I have experienced if you are in the mood it will only enhance it with the right stimulation.

Attributes: Organically grown

D9-THC-A: 26.2%   CBD: 0.03%  Myrcrene: 6.115mg  THC: 23.5mg  A-Pinene: 2.682mg/g  B-Caryophyllene: 2.570mg

img_2734This is a marvelous strain from Green Life Productions and if their other products prove to be just as fantastic then I may find myself gravitating toward their offerings at dispensaries.

 

Worth Fighting For- 5 Reasons Why America is Still Awesome

America might be having a bit of a breakdown right now but it is still worth fighting for the principles that make this place great.  Ok I know I promised I wouldn’t be too political and I won’t be.  That isn’t really the point of this post so if you can get past that I promise it’s worth the journey.This election brought out a lot of the ugliness that simmers under the surface of our democracy.  Hey no one said this shit was easy!  However, it seems that we occasionally need reminding that the strength of our national character is diversity and we live in an amazing place.  It takes work to make a house a home, and it takes a lot of work to make a country united and work for those that live there.  So hold off on that one way ticket to Canada, stop rooting for your neighbors to leave and let’s just acknowledge 5 reasons why America is still awesome in no particular order.

  1. Marijuana legalization-if you came to a cannabis advocate’s blog not expecting that to be on the list that’s kind of on you.  More and more states are legally recognizing the benefits of decriminalizing marijuana in one way or another with 8 states legalizing it for both medical and recreational use, and many other states and U.S. territories allowing medical marijuana use (exact numbers are a little more difficult here because some laws decriminalize where others don’t, some allow strains with THC and some are CBD only, what can I say it’s a work in progress)  That allows awesome little gems like Colorado’s Bud and Breakfast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK1qoFM5n0U
  2. National Parks– Though there are rumblings of these parks under threat of being sold to private interests we can at least be proud of the fact that we have them.  Within the American West alone we can find monuments to natural beauty in Yellowstone, Yosemite, and the Grand Canyon just to mention a few.  Celebrating 100 years this year I encourage you to check out https://www.nps.gov/index.htm to see what other parks we have and events they may have this year.
  3. System of Government– I know this week sort of sucks for talking about our system of government but let us not forget that there are a system of checks and balances in place for a reason and that they all work best when we as citizens stay involved and hold representatives to account for the way they represent us.  Just because someone you didn’t support won that doesn’t mean you won’t be represented.  Many of the politicians I have spoken to say they would rather get phone calls, emails, and letters from their constituents, average Americans, than the constant barrage of lobbyists.  If lobbyists are the only one’s raising their voices they will be the only ones heard.  If you have raised your voice and your representative ignored you anyway you get to vote the bum out.  It’s on us to remind them that their time there depends on how they perform.
  4. Freedom in General– There aren’t many countries where you can freely voice your opinion on political leaders without facing jail time or worse so let’s try to remember that and protect that right.
  5. Crazy or Not Most of Us Are Good People– I know it isn’t looking like it right now but most Americans are good people.  We aren’t as racist as we used to be but racism still exists and will until we confront it and stop being so cozy with it.  We aren’t as sexist as we used to be, but we are still too far from seeing past a person’s gender to see their worth than we should be and it is still far more socially expectable than it should be.  We aren’t as homophobic or xenophobic as we used to be but still in all of these ways where someone is seen as others we seem to have to great a fear of just getting to know each other.  We aren’t bad people but we need to be better than we are.

We are in this together and there are too many great things about this country to abandon it or be so downtrodden because of one election.  Liberal values- equal citizenship and rights regardless of who you are, who you love, who you worship (if you worship), how abled you are- these will all have a bit of a rough patch because whenever you push for dramatic social and political change there is always the tug from those who think it’s too much too soon.  Be patient with people, we never know what they are going through, but by no means settle for less than you deserve.  We don’t have to make America great again, it’s already great.  We need to listen to each other and find ways to work together so that America lives up to its promise.  We live in an amazing place, we need to do more than just worry about ourselves to make America great each and every day.

Okay I promise my next post will definitely be less political.

Up In Smoke or How I’m Dealing with Stress Right Now

I promise this blog will not always be political, in fact this may be the most I ever discuss national politics that don’t involve weed.  However, I wouldn’t be true to this whole experience if I didn’t get this off of my chest.

On November 15th I will be taking two exams that determine whether or not I will receive the Masters degree I have been pursuing, this is my final attempt.  For anyone not familiar with what a comprehensive exam is I offer this brief summary of what is required.  I have two hours per exam to answer one question on any historical topic that spans the last 160 years using a list of 80 books and academic articles, a list that I cannot have with me when I take the exam.  I have to do this twice in one day.  I have already failed once, if I fail again I am out on my ear, thousands of dollars in debt without the degree I have been pursuing for the last two years.

Now add to this immense pile of stress the recent tumult over the election.  It was a nail biter, it was painful, and I can tell you right now that between these two things I am surviving on cannabis and coffee.  After getting to celebrate at the Leafly Yes on 2 party that my state voted to approve recreational marijuana use I went home to smoke a bowl to help with my anxiety that was clawing at me like a wild animal as the election results came in.  I smoked a strain called Sunset Dream, it seemed oddly fitting for a day where a campaign I supported won while the candidate I had chosen lost.

If you are someone who voted for the current President Elect and don’t understand why people like me are so upset then let me clarify at least why I am.  My anxiety and depression are a disability, my bisexuality has always left me in a grey area where I never fully belong, my gender handicaps me in the profession I have always wanted to be in (academia), I am a rape survivor and have been a victim of sexual harassment too often to count, and as an outspoken, college educated woman I have been told that I need to mask who I am and temper my words to get along.  The person so many of our fellow citizens have chosen to hold the most powerful office in the land personifies the bigotry, misogyny, and racist views so many of us thought our country was moving past. In choosing him I feel like a despised outsider in every way imaginable. So many of us, while acknowledging that we have so far still to go as a country to live up to our promise as a people, had thought we were at least beyond embracing someone who embodies so much of what is wrong with us as a people.  Liberals aren’t protesting and rioting because our candidate lost, this is happening because the message that was sent by over half of the country was that they were okay with the leader of the free world publicly humiliating women, bragging about sexual assault, banning religious groups, and treating minority communities as a threat rather than as productive members of our society.  Many feel human decency lost, I feel that so many people were hurting economically that they couldn’t see past their own pain, anger, and frustration when they voted.

As a whole nation we are crying out to be heard, tired of being treated like we don’t matter.  Industrialization, globalization, and new technologies have eliminated jobs that once existed, jobs that we can’t bring back.  Wall Street speculators have gambled on the housing market and average citizens paid the price.  I understand it is easier to choose a voice that shouts all of the things you want to hear.  And though I have considerable doubts about what our future holds I do have one request: if you are someone who voted for Donald Trump because you believe he can fix what is broken in Washington but are fundamentally opposed to the anti-muslim, racist, ableist, sexist, predatory views and actions of this man,  then prove it.  Hold your president accountable.  Stop expecting liberals to just get over it, you voted in the embodiment of everything we hold dear to make a statement and not every person who voted against the President Elect is a liberal.

The bright spot in all of this ugliness is that more and more states are letting the voters decide whether or not their state should allow marijuana and its an issue that crosses party lines.  Nevada, California, Maine, and Massachusetts all voted to legalize recreational use of marijuana.  Other states legalized medical marijuana.  More and more states are acknowledging that prohibition on marijuana is wrong, that criminalizing something that is less dangerous than alcohol is a waste of taxpayer money and just fosters a blackmarket for marijuana.  Good people are tired of being criminalized for using weed and at least this is one reform that isn’t a red or blue issue, it’s all about the green.  So I am going to continue my delicate balance of coffee and cannabis to get through this stressful time and I am going to continue to push for a better world, because we all deserve that.

Nevada Voters Spoke – Question 2 Passed!

Nevada gets to count itself among the minority of states that have legalized the recreational use of marijuana thanks to the turnout of Nevada voters who answered yes on Question 2.  Last night at Leafly’s Yes on 2 Election watch party, a mingling of the hearts and minds that supported the ballot referendum, the mood was mixed until the results were announced.  The 2016 election has been a trying experience and watching the results unfold was nerve wracking, enough that some medical marijuana patients expressed relief that they had had the foresight to have their medication of choice available at home after the event.

However, the news we had been hoping to hear, and had been watching election coverage on sites like Google for, came in around 10 pm local time.  Question 2 passed!  High fives and hugs all around!  It didn’t matter if you were a Hillary supporter or a Trump supporter on this one issue we could agree that the time had come in Nevada to decriminalize marijuana.

Moving forward, those of us who supported this issue will have plenty of work ahead of us to make sure that Nevada stands out as a state that legalized and regulates marijuana in a way that makes sense.  Out of this shit storm of an election cycle at least we can say some good came out of it.

Sex and Weed: When Worlds Collide

When I was a teenager smoking pot had the thrill of doing something naughty.  Since I was raised in a very strict home the risks didn’t outweigh the rewards, so smoking pot was a very short lived experience.  So short lived that I had never had sex while high.  Fast forward to 2016, we won’t mention how many years in between, when my hubby and I had the conversation about medical marijuana and the first time I smoked for relief.  First things first, the marijuana offered at a dispensary is far superior to anything that was ever available in the small town I grew up in.

The first time I smoked as a medical marijuana user I intentionally got high so that my husband could understand the furthest I could allow myself to go while using marijuana.  His concern was based on several bad experiences with people he cared about while growing up, not from personal experience himself.  The first thing he noticed right away was the way my stress melted away, and he was convinced this was a positive thing for me as an individual and for us as a couple.  The stress I have been dealing with for the last few years has had more effects than to just thrust me into dramatic anxiety attacks, while I was fighting to hold myself together I lost my sex drive.  That is not to say that I never wanted to have sex, just that I did not want to have it nearly as much as I used to or as adventurously as I used to.  Three hits of Grape Krush and stress relief was not all that I experienced.

To say that I was feeling frisky pales in comparison to what actually happened.  What no one ever told me, but I will definitely tell you, is that sex while high can be absolutely amazing.  Inhibitions go out the window and oh how freeing that can be.  For us, oral was better and more primal, I had no problem telling him what I wanted, where I wanted it, and that I wanted more and more of it.  My skin felt electric and each sexual sensation seemed to build the high that I was experiencing. He was impressed and sold on the prospect.  After trying marijuana for himself, about a week later, he found that the right strain helped him too.  Medications for conditions he has have nearly killed his sex drive but marijuana not only brought it back, he has more drive and stamina than he has had in years.  High or not, since I have started using medical marijuana our sex life has gotten so much better, and it has only helped our marriage, which has felt the strain that the stress and anxiety of pursuing a graduate degree can have on a marriage.

So what is the takeaway? There is plenty of evidence that sex is great for your health in so many ways and medical marijuana has been shown to help patients for a myriad of health concerns.  I’m not sharing this glimpse into my sex life to boast, even if it has me grinning like the Cheshire cat.  I believe that marijuana and sex can feel like magic together and can be cathartic.  More importantly, we can all use more rest, relaxation, and release.  So if you haven’t tried it, consider it, and if you are looking for strains that unlock Pandora’s box I recommend looking at hybrids that provide a euphoric feeling, those have worked for us.

SinMint Cookies-The Gift That Keeps on Giving

SinMint Cookies

4/5 Overall Rating

3/5 Ability to be Productive

5/5 Relaxation

4/5 Frisky

Sin Mint Cookies is best smoked through a bubbler; it was too harsh in my peanut pipe.  Two hits were enough to calm my anxiety and still be relatively productive, any more than that and this strain becomes more useful for bringing greater relaxation at the cost of productivity.  That is not necessarily a bad thing.  Sin Mint Cookies also offered a euphoric, floaty feeling.  I was very relaxed and saw an increase to my sex drive*.  Keep the snacks handy for post frisky activities or just generally after you smoke because you will have a mild case of the munchies.

Here is the breakdown of cannabinoids and terpines present in the batch I smoked:

D9-THC-A 26.63%    CBD 0.05%   D-Limonene 2.93mg   B-Caryphyllene 4.65mg  Linalool 1.65mg

*For more about the topic of weed and sex there will be a follow up post.

My First Strain Review – Grape Krush

4/5 Overall Experience  

2/5 Ability to be Productive

5/5 Relaxation

4/5 Frisky

My first review is about the first strain I tried as a medical marijuana user, Grape Krush.  Smoked in a peanut pipe, three hits were enough to cause a feeling of euphoria, relaxation, and reduced inhibitions.  The smoke was mellow and tasted good, and I wasn’t left with cottonmouth.  Some technical information and a breakdown of the cannabinoids most prevalent in this strain are noted below.  For me it isn’t enough to see that a strain has some useful effect, I want to understand if there is also a trend.  If you are a medical marijuana user, I would definitely encourage you to become very familiar with the chemical profile of the strains you use to see if a pattern emerges for you as well.

Grape Krush – Indica

D9-THC-A  9.80%  CBD  0.02%  THC 9mg  D-Limonene  0.299mg  A-Pinene  0.761g

B-Caryophyllene  0.744mg

How does Grape Krush fit into treating my anxiety, insomnia, or depression?

Grape Krush helped me relax a great deal.  In fact it felt like all of my stress and physical pain melted away for a while so I could enjoy the moment.  It also helped me sleep soundly and deeply.  As for the depression, it’s hard to say but I can tell you that after a full night of sleep it was easier to try a more positive perspective than I have had in a while.  However, I was not able to focus or think as clearly as I had hoped to be able to do work.  So for me, Grape Krush is great for relaxation but not for use when I need to be functional, meaning the ability to read, analyze, and write.